Countdown to 2018: Birdie King Tees Off at noon on September 8th, 2018!


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Hackfest Trophy - RIP

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Hackfest Trophy Videos - RIP

Go here for videos of the original Hackfest trophy!

Hackfest Trophy History

The Hackfest trophy is awarded to the Birdie King after the Fest-tivities each year. It is a traveling trophy and the winner has the honor of sole possession of it for his one-year reign as the Birdie King. Of all the major sport championships, only the Stanley Cup receives the exposure to the common man like the Hackfest Trophy.

The trophy has never adopted an official name or nickname. This may be due to a number of reasons. No one person has ever distinguished themselves in any manner, either on the course or off, and it is highly unlikely that any of the current crew ever will. Also, no one has ever died, which would seemingly make the choice an obvious one. Steve Blake has disappeared for great lengths of time but seems to pop up when we were about ready to hold a memorial.

Most likely, it has no name because no one has taken the time or has any amount of creativity to come up with one. So, for now and well into the future we refer to it as “The Hackfest Trophy” or simply, “The Trophy.”

Being the keeper of The Trophy brings with it an enormous amount of responsibility. First, it must be treated with utmost respect. Second, whenever it is in the presence of any of the other participating ‘Fester, upon request it must be displayed in a prominent place in your home. The living room, on the deck, or the kitchen counter are all excellent suggestions. When not on display, one could get a little consideration on next year’s handicap by setting it up in the master bedroom. In a display of honor, well above the call of duty, Tom Sandberg had the trophy on display at Motorola’s world headquarters with full video access to other ‘Festers.

Finally, the winner must add something to the trophy before returning to the Hackfest the following year. More often than not, there is a lot of planning but very little action taken to perform this duty by the Birdie King. Many a champion has stayed up late into the night before the Fest, rummaging through the garage, kids toy box, trash or dirty laundry to find just the right addition.

Some of the features of the trophy now include; AM-FM stereo, disco lights and a rotating wheel with putter perpetually hitting a golf ball from Gumby’s outstretched arms. There are also prints of original artwork from a prominent local artist (stuffed in Gatorade bottles) and a hall of fame displaying the winners of each year of the ‘Fest. The Birdie King will be hailed with recorded audio from the King, Elvis. All of this sits proudly on a steel frame base that will hold well over the 6’ tall, 60 lb. version. Additionally, the trophy is wired for both 100 volt AC, and 12 volt DC power should it be necessary for future additions.

Yes, The Trophy is the real prize, as you can keep it and revere it for an entire year. Many of the ‘Festers have heard the same words uttered by their wives as they left for the hallowed event: “Do well, honey, but come in second. If you win, either you or the trophy will be spending the next year in the garage.”

Text contributed by Roger Mahre.

Note From Brett To Birdie King

John, [cc'd to Gary, keeper of the Hackfest lore]:

All hail the magnificent glory that is you, the Birdie King. Each year about this time I contact the reigning Birdie King to bath them in the glory of their achievement and remind them that their reign is about to be challenged.

As Birdie King, the coming Hackathon presents you with certain duties:
  1. Before the opening drive sounds on the Hackfest September 11 you must have made your addition/alteration of the trophy. Sweeping changes to the trophy are allowed. The only rule is that you must maintain the essence of all items previously added. You are allowed to change their basic physical properties (gas, liquid, solid). You could for example crush, burn, or cover in concrete the current trophy. You could have it incinerated, mix the ash/solid chunks with pigment and create a painting, or a bottle of Hackfest Ash Beer. You are limited only by your imagination and the fact that you will probably wait until the night before the Fest to make your changes.
  2. You will hit the first drive of the 2004 Hackfest
  3. You must have the trophy ready for delivery to the 2004 Birdie King on-site, at the close of Golf Sunday September 12.
That is it.

In all past years, Birdie Kings have noticed a substantial improvement in their love lives, huge financial windfalls, and a certain glowing physical health. I hope you have been able reap the benefits Hackfest fame has undoubtedly steered your way.

You were a deserving champion, good luck in your quest to retain your title.


Brett R. Johnson
Hackfest Artistic Director