Countdown to 2017: Birdie King Tees Off at 12:32PM on September 9th!


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Go here for the latest on the 2017 Hackfest!

See this page for important changes to the Legends Committee!

Dakota, MN - 10-Day Forecast

Dakota, MN - Radar

2016 Odds

Hackfest Trophy - RIP

Go here for videos of the original Hackfest trophy!

Hackfest 2017: There's Something Wrong With Me

Roger Mahre will attempt to defend his title in close proximity to the noxious odors eminating from nearby Wisconsin.

Birdie King


Official Invitation from the Artistic Director

All Hail the Mighty, Mighty Mahre, your reigning Birdie King,

News from the world of the Hackfest. Sauer is out, Anderson is in. Courses have yet to be selected, however, rules are attached and will soon be on the website. If you want to play Thursday afternoon and/or Friday please let me know as soon as possible. So far, I believe the Thursdays are Marie, Brett, Gary, Eric, Trent, and Tim, and the Fridays are Marie, Brett, Gary, Eric, Trent, Tim, John, David and Jeff. Please correct or pile on at your earliest convenience.

As a reminder: Hackfest 2017 falls on September 9 and 10 this year, and the location has been chosen. The link below will show you our abode which is located East of Rochester, close to the MN/WI border and a bit south of Interstate 90. About 2 hours and 10 minutes southeast of the Minneapolis Airport. Actual address is 29224 County Rd 125 Dakota, MN 55925. $100 gets you lodging on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights or any subset there-of. Unless you are on the list above, please let me know when you are arriving.

A couple of recent quotes from Hackfesters to get you in the mood to see your friends in six weeks:

"I hope that after I die people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'" T. Sandberg

"A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that you got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke." G. Mullen-Schultz

"To me, it's always a good idea to carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?', you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'" T. Hidani

"It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight." B. King

"When I go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges." M. Allerding

"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because man, they're gone." J. Hove

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." E. Petersen

"I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around." C. Larson

They are your friends and you will see them soon,

Your favorite Hackfest Artistic Director,



This year's participants, in alphabetical order: Mike Allerding; Duane Anderson; Jeff Carter; Brian Dukart; Tim Hidani; James Hove; Brett Johnson; John Kast; James Kenealy; Chaz Larson; Roger Mahre; Gary Mullen-Schultz; Eric Petersen; David Read; Tom Sandberg; Trent Shipley.


Here are the rules for the 2017 Hackfest.


David Read once again graciously fronted the cash for lodging at Dakota, MN. More information about the digs can be found here. Thanks for your work in getting these spectacular digs, David.

Lodging is located here, The address is 29224 County Rd 125 Dakota, MN 55925.

Golf Venues

Thursday's pre-Fest rumble will take place at The Jewel Golf Club, 1900 Clubhouse Drive, Lake City, MN 55041. It's Special's home course. First tee time is at 12:06PM. Directions to the rental home are here.

Friday's pre-Fest match will take place at The Bridges, 22852 County Rd 17, Winona, MN 55987. First tee time is at 1:44PM. Directions from the rental home are here.

Saturday's rounds take place at Trempealeau Mountain Golf Club, W24411 Fairway Lane, Trempealeau, WI 54661, which is unfortunately located in Wisconsin. The first group will tee of at 12:32PM. Directions from the rental home are here.

Drugan's Castle Mound has the honor of hosting the final round of the 2017 Hackfest. It unfortunately is also located in the malodorous state of Wisconsin, home of alcoholic, inbred hillbillies. The first group will tee off at 8:00AM sharp. Directions from our abode are here. Directions from Drugan's to the Minneapolis airport are here.

Champion's Dinner