Hackfest 2025: TBD

The 2025 Hackfest featured Brian "Duke" Dukart defending his title in northern Illinois. It took place from September 4-7. His pathetic "defense" did not end well.

Results

Phil "Rhino" Jirsa is our new Birdie King!

Team F*ck Those Guys (TFTG) crushed Mr. T and the A Team to win their first team championship.

Rules

Here are the original rules for the 2025 Hackfest.

Here are the current rules as revised by David Read for the 2025 Hackfest.

Participants

Brian Dukart (2024 Birdie King); Mike Allerding; Jeff Carter; Travis Fleming; James Hove; Phil Jirsa; Jim "Special K" Kenealy; Gary "Picasso" Mullen-Schultz; Eric Petersen; David Read; Tom Sandberg

Unable to golf this year but still attending the festivities: Tim Hidani; John Kast; Chaz Larson; Roger Mahre

Out this year: Duane Anderson; Brett Johnson; Trent Shipley

Lodging

Lodging is at 7216 Bull Valley Rd, McHenry, IL 60050, USA . Thanks to Legend Eric "E the V" Petersen for finding and reserving!

Nearby Restaurants

• The Village Squire, English tavern bar and grill. 4512 W Elm St, McHenry, IL 60050
• La Trinidad, Mexican. 4401 W Elm St, McHenry, IL 60050
• D.C. Cobb’s, bar and grill. 1204 N Green St, McHenry, IL 60050
• Buddyz Pizzaria, Chicago-style. 1138 N Green St, McHenry, IL 60050
• Green Peapod, Thai. 1225 N Green St, McHenry, IL 60050
• Moe’s on Main, pub. 3914 Main St, McHenry, IL 60050

Golf Venue

All rounds this year will take place at Boone Creek Golf Club in Bull Valley, Illinois.

Thursday's practice round will start at 1:00PM.

Friday's first teeoff is at 11:00AM.

Saturday's golf will commence at noon sharp.

Sunday's deciding round will kick off at 8:30AM.

Pre-Fest Note from the Artistic Director

You people,

All hail our very handsome Birdie King, Brian Dukart!

The rules are out! Picasso has updated the website with them, the updated tee times (Thursday 1:00 $52; Friday 11:00, $52, Saturday 12:00, $67, Sunday 8:30, $67), and the list of restaurants. For God's sake look at the website, get some 5 year-old to show you how. We have 10 for golf on Thursday (Brett, Gary, Duke, Eric, Jim H., David, Travis, Phil, Spec K., Mike A.), 14 for Friday-Sunday (Add Tom, Roger, Duane, and Jeff), and three non-playing golfing advisors (Chuck, Tim, and John). The Cray has been inundated with medical updates to such an extent it has decided to ignore all such information. Roger's playing, so it's not sure what the rest of you have to bitch about.

Your lack of attention to detail or anything resembling focus forces me to repeat the following:

• All golf is scheduled to be played at the Boone Creek Golf Club in Bull Valley, Illinois. On Thursday we will go straight from golf (1:00) to dinner, then to the house. Dinner is scheduled for 6:00 at Green Peapod, Thai. 1225 N Green St, McHenry, IL.
• Champions dinner is Friday night at 5:00, D.C. Cobb’s, bar and grill. 1204 N Green St, McHenry, IL, as chosen by your Birdie King. Everyone contributes to help pay for the no-longer-Birdie King's dinner.
• $30 entry fee -pay me when you first see me (this includes Tim and John--they pay $20 with a chance to win $30+ if their team wins and skins fall their way--no way). CASH. I will not talk to you or allow you to participate in Hackfest related events until I get $30 cash from you (some $5 bills and singles appreciated). No EFTs or IOUs. That money pays: $150 to the Birdie King on Sunday; $30 to each winning team member on Saturday; 2 skins each day Friday-Sunday in the amount of $15-20 each for lowest score (relative to par) on highest handicapped hole (or next, or next, etc. . . ) in each 9-hole format. If no single winner for a 9, the money goes to Tim and John.
• Your team memberships are: Team F*** Those Guys: Duane, Chaz, Travis, Brett, Gary, Jeff, David, Duke, and Panther. Defending four-consecutive time team champions MR. T and the A Team: Tom, Trent, John, Phil, Roger, Eric, Ding, Spesh, and Tim. You are expected to wear sanctioned team gear on Friday and Saturday.

In the words of the prescient, and no-longer-speaking-to-each-other, members of Pink Floyd, and as driven home by Ozzie recently: "You run and you run to catch up with the sun but its sinking; racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older, shorter of breath and one day closer to death." So spend some days with your friends (or people you know) at the Fest!

By the way, Gary's recent email smells of bullshit, there is no way he is looking forward to seeing all of you! But I am . . . sort of.

See you soon,
Your larger-than-life Artistic Director (and the only 38-time, soon to be 39-time, playing attendee)

Pre-Pre-Fest Note from the Artistic Director

All Hail BirdieKing Duke (who I assume cheated his way to a rock, paper, scissors victory over me, nice work)!!!

Despite your best efforts you are once again being invited to participate in the Hackfest. The event is scheduled for the weekend after labor day (Thursday, September 4-Sunday, September 7), in approximately the same (but different) northern Illinois location as last year.

Note the following:

1. Eric will get the housing details out when he feels like wasting time on you (he is once again the thankless frontman for accommodations). Please respond promptly to any Eric Petersen requests.

2. Let me know as soon as possible if you will NOT be attending, otherwise your attendance is assumed (Trent is not playing again this year because of Gary, . . . or a prior commitment). Also give me a yes or no on Thursday golf (voluntary), Friday-Sunday is required Hackfest Golf.

3. At the current moment, all golf is scheduled to be played at the Boone Creek Golf Club in Bull Valley, Illinois, Accommodations near McHenry Illinois. This is not too far north of Chicago.

4. First tee times are: Thursday, September 4, 1:00; Friday, September 5 11:00; Saturday, September 6, 11:00; Sunday, September 7, 8:30.

5. Champions dinner is Friday night at a location to be determined. Everyone contributes to help pay for the no-longer-Birdie King's dinner.

6. $30 entry fee -pay me when you first see me. CASH. I will not talk to you or allow you to participate in Hackfest related events until I get $30 cash from you (some $5 bills and singles appreciated). No EFTs or IOUs. That money pays: $150 to the Birdie King on Sunday; $30 to each winning team member on Saturday; 2 skins each day Friday-Sunday in the amount of $15-20 each for lowest score (relative to par) on highest handicapped hole (or next, or next, etc. . . ) in each 9-hole format. If no single winner (ties among teams and individuals) the money is pushed to up the value of the rest of the skins.

7. Because you don't remember your team memberships, they are: Team F*** Those Guys: Duane, Chaz, Travis, Brett, Gary, Jeff, David, Duke, and Panther. Mr. T. and A Team: Tom, Trent, John, Phil, Roger, Eric, Ding, Spesh, and Tim. You are expected to wear sanctioned team gear on Friday and Saturday.

8. I will forward the rules once the Cray spits them out.

Be well, honor Duke, listen to Eric, and, if you are a member of Mr. T. and the A-Team, overtrain until injured.

Your humble Hackfest Artistic Director,

Brett R. Johnson