Hackfest 2017: There's Something Wrong With Me

Roger Mahre attempted to defend his title in close proximity to the noxious odors eminating from nearby Wisconsin. He failed. In fact, his return to reality was abrupt, as he won last place.

Birdie King

Our 2017 Birdie King is: James "Special K" Kenealy. Congrats, Jim!

Results

Here are the results from the 2017 Hackfest.

Rules

Here are the rules for the 2017 Hackfest.

Participants

This year's participants, in alphabetical order: Duane Anderson; Jeff Carter; Brian Dukart; Tim Hidani; James Hove; Brett Johnson; John Kast; James Kenealy; Chaz Larson; Roger Mahre; Gary Mullen-Schultz; Eric Petersen; David Read; Tom Sandberg; Trent Shipley.

Lodging

David Read once again graciously fronted the cash for lodging at Dakota, MN. More information about the digs can be found here. Thanks for your work in getting these spectacular digs, David.

Lodging is located here, The address is 29224 County Rd 125 Dakota, MN 55925.

Some nearby restaurants here.

Golf Venues

Thursday's pre-Fest rumble took place at The Jewel Golf Club, 1900 Clubhouse Drive, Lake City, MN 55041. It was Special's home course, and set him up well for his Sunday title. First tee time was at 12:06PM. Directions to the rental home here.

Friday's pre-Fest match took place at The Bridges, 22852 County Rd 17, Winona, MN 55987. First tee time was at 1:44PM. Note that the eventual Birdie King took a well-deserved "day of rest" for this event, gathering needed strength for his eventual march to victory. Directions from the rental home here.

Saturday's rounds took place at Trempealeau Mountain Golf Club, W24411 Fairway Lane, Trempealeau, WI 54661, which is unfortunately located in Wisconsin. It's also not much of a mountain. The first group teed of at 12:32PM. Directions from the rental home here.

Drugan's Castle Mound had the honor of hosting the final round of the 2017 Hackfest. It unfortunately is also located in the malodorous state of Wisconsin, home of alcoholic, inbred hillbillies. And our new Birdie King. The first group teed off at 8:00AM sharp. Directions from our abode here. Directions from Drugan's to the Minneapolis airport here.

Champion's Dinner

The then Birdie King (now schlump) hosted his Champion's Dinner at Jefferson's Pub and Grill, 58 Center St., Winona, MN 55987. A pleasant time was had by all.

Post-Fest Note from the Artistic Director

All Hail James Kenealy, Birdie King (Wisconsin Region) 2017,

The relief was palpable. Congrats Mr. Kenealy. Jim has charted a new route to Birdie Kingdom. Apparently, sleep is important. As far as I saw he was either swinging a golf club or asleep the entire weekend.

The event has been preserved for posterity at Hackfest.org by G-Man. If you have pictures of the event forward them to Gary. See the site, love the site, live the site. Thanks, Gary.

Thank you all for coming out again. I had a great time and that's all that matters. Special shout out to David Read for the accommodations, to the Birdie King for getting us checked in, to my Friday partner John Kast for winning me dinner, to someone (Duke?) for a case of sunflower seeds, to Jeff and Tom and Duane for coming a long way at great expense, to the legends committee (especially E) for keeping it real, and to Chuck for doing all the work while the rest of us focused on not working.

If you are one of those who never got a bedroom with a door, we are already working on that for 2018.

If you get a little down-in-the-dumps in the coming year (for any reason; like, for example, the ongoing realization that the Birdie King is from Wisconsin), remember to look at the web page and your happy friends and realize that if you improve your golf game, the Birdie King never has to come from Wisconsin again.

Have a healthy and happy year!

Brett Johnson
Artistic Director, Hackfest 2017

Official Invitation from the Artistic Director

All Hail the Mighty, Mighty Mahre, your reigning Birdie King,

News from the world of the Hackfest. Sauer is out, Anderson is in. Courses have yet to be selected, however, rules are attached and will soon be on the website. If you want to play Thursday afternoon and/or Friday please let me know as soon as possible. So far, I believe the Thursdays are Marie, Brett, Gary, Eric, Trent, and Tim, and the Fridays are Marie, Brett, Gary, Eric, Trent, Tim, John, David and Jeff. Please correct or pile on at your earliest convenience.

As a reminder: Hackfest 2017 falls on September 9 and 10 this year, and the location has been chosen. The link below will show you our abode which is located East of Rochester, close to the MN/WI border and a bit south of Interstate 90. About 2 hours and 10 minutes southeast of the Minneapolis Airport. Actual address is 29224 County Rd 125 Dakota, MN 55925. $100 gets you lodging on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights or any subset there-of. Unless you are on the list above, please let me know when you are arriving.

https://www.homeaway.com/vacation-rental/p609912vb

A couple of recent quotes from Hackfesters to get you in the mood to see your friends in six weeks:

"I hope that after I die people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'" T. Sandberg

"A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that you got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke." G. Mullen-Schultz

"To me, it's always a good idea to carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?', you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'" T. Hidani

"It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight." B. King

"When I go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges." M. Allerding

"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because man, they're gone." J. Hove

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." E. Petersen

"I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around." C. Larson

They are your friends and you will see them soon,

Your favorite Hackfest Artistic Director,
Brett